Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Ringing in the new year

One of the greatest feelings ever.
Even if you're just sitting at home alone watching the ball
drop in Times Square,
you can still feel the entire coast coming together.

Time zone by time zone
they all come together to celebrate their new beginnings.

For just one night
it doesn't matter if someone is standing too close to you
or the guy behind you is talking a cell phone way too loud.

For a few weeks
everyone will be running about
urgently trying to better themselves.
People will join gyms, make treaties with their neighbors, get a job,
stop a bad habit.
Anything they can do to just feel like they are starting over.

But tomorrow
we'll all go back to being annoyed by the same things. All wake up bitter
and ready for the morning commute. We'll wake up
with some hangovers and feeling crappy. We'll roll over and get mad at our alarms.

A few weeks from now
you'll cancel your gym membership and go back to not caring whose feelings you hurt.
you'll go back to your old habits since quitting was inconvenient for you.
You'll be the same person you were last year.

Which makes me sad;which makes me think.
If the entire world can come together at one time, on one day, why must we be so distant
the rest of the year?
Why can't we just truly be amazing people and not have to put it on a list of something to "work on"?
Why do we let silly arguments and other's habits bring us down? Why can't we all live as one?

That's my new year's resolution.
To not have any resolutions for 2010.
I'm going to make it a habit to be a good person, not something I need to work on.

Happy 2k9 everyone! :D

Saturday, December 20, 2008


...kinda sucked.
Of course, it had it's ups and downs.
I wouldn't want to relive it, that's for sure.

I brought in 2008 in the most amazing way.
I was on the ship coming home from Hawaii. Evan, Jase, and I had a dance party
in The Loft till 3 in the morning and then sat in the hallway talking for a long time.
They were some of the chillest people I've ever met in my life
and I still miss them and I still hate the thought that I'll never seen either of them again.

I made color guard!
It's been nice to finally be apart of something that I'm actually kinda good at!
I also met Timmy through color guard...kinda.
I saw him at band practice one day and realized how cute he was ^-^
so from there, I was determined to get to know him XD
Annnnd we've been dating for 3 months now!
I'm good :]

My grandma was hospitalized.
I cried every night for about a week until she finally got to go home.
Timmy was the only person I exactly talked to about how much that hurt and scared
me. And he didn't mind when I cried for hours on the phone and didn't feel like talking.
She's okay now though :]

The summer sucked.
Remember that HUGE list of stuff I wanted to do?
Never did ANY of it!!!!!
Instead, I lost the friend that I made that list with.
We got in a huge fight and have yet to talk. Well...have yet to had
a full on conversation that wasn't highly awkward for me.

I missed Halloween thanks to having a game that night.
I was looking forward to dressing up like a boy and spending the night with my friends.
Ohhhh well.

oh and I got my first kiss this year :DD

There wasn't any good NEW music that came out.
I didn't have a favorite band this year (cept for imadethismistake but they've been around).
Everything sound the same
so I resorted to listening to Nsync and Johny Cash and other weird melodies of strange songs.

I opened Starship with Farrah :D

I got my permit
and a mini van.
I LOVE my van <333

I lost a lot of friends
and I gained a lot of acquaintances.

I've felt lost, confused, alone, and completely ready to give up.
I lost site of why I do the things I do and my morals have been put into
question far to many times.

2008 just wasn't my cup of tea.
I'm looking forward to the end.
I won't miss it a bit.

Monday, December 15, 2008


I love change just as much as the next person.
If everything were to be the same all the time, naturally, I'd be bored out of my mind.

What most (including myself) don't take into consideration
is there are such things as bad changes.

The type of changes you go through when you're growing up.
The type of changes all of go through and no one can stop.
The changes when kids realized their dreams are completely different from
that of their best friends and they begin to drift apart.
The changes that cause people to feel distant and completely alone.

We all have them. No one can say that haven't ever felt alone
and left out. Awkward and afraid.
It's natural. It's gotta be...
Way more than just a change in classes or how your bedroom is arranged.
A lot deeper than just how the weather outside is or if you are having a bad day.

At some point in your life, changes are involuntary.
One thing you do have control over though, is realizing your changes.
Admitting that you are indeed changing and make them fit your life.
If you still want to be close to the people you were once close with, sit down with
yourself and figure out how to make it work.
Blaming change for losing friends isn't always going to work.

Maybe it's that you have a new boyfriend who is consuming most of your time.
Or maybe you're taking a ridiculously difficult class that keeps you from laid
back friend time.
It might be family troubles or that you just have no idea where you're headed in life.
Get your priorities straight.
Make a list and make sure you stay true to your goals.

Whatever it may be that you're experiencing, the big picture really may not
be that bad. You have the power to become who you want to become.
Don't deny change but don't let it overpower you.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Ohh December!

So December comes at a good time.
New week, new month!!
It's like a fresh start :]

Cept kind of not.
EOCTs for my classes are coming FAST!
I still have a really low grade in pottery
and I need to work on that.

I'm going to kick it into high gear in the next month.
Studying like crazy, getting all my gifts together for all my friends,
and trying to think of something cool.

I realized I haven't done anything TOO terribly memorable for 2008.
So in the last month, I want to make it an amazing month!
I'm going to blog a lot so I can remember all that is going on
and keep my head screwed on tight.
I don't want to lose sight of things that are really important.
Like family, school, and my career.
2k9 is coming up WAY to fast.
much much too fast!

Off to go take some practice tests
and text Rob-E about going into pottery early with me tomorrow.
Hahh I love him XD

Thursday, November 13, 2008

I don't want to be broken.

Those closest to me have noticed that I'm not myself lately.
I haven't noticed that much but now that that has been brought to my attention, so have a lot of other things.

I am truly not as happy as I was.
I still laugh at everything...but it's weak.
I still smile at people in the halls..but just so I convince myself nothing is wrong.
I cannot blame it on the weather. I know it's deeper than that.
I have never before felt so alone. So out of place and lost.

I've been complaining about this a lot recently.
However, I don't think anyone nor myself have noticed the sincerity.

Subconsciously, I changed myself in hope I wouldn't feel so alone.
With that, I lost what made me happy. I was never one to change for people; as long as I was happy, that was good enough for me.
I need to go back to that. I want my oblivious mind back.

My best friend has been having a lot of problems and in the process of trying to be there, I've put her burdens on my mind. I want to make her happy and I'm spending so much time doing that, I haven't made me happy.
I need to even those out.

I am going to cheer myself up.
I am going to get my spunk and spirit back.
I am going to stop caring what perfect strangers think and go back to loving those closest to me.
I'm going to call my boyfriend and talk things over with him.


Sunday, November 2, 2008

I'm not a writer.

From the moment that I met you, I knew I didn't need you.
I knew you weren't good for me and you'd just cause problems.
I knew that you would use the same lines on me that you use on every girl.
I knew that you were just trying to make her mad with how "happy" you were and that you never truly understood my jokes.
I knew your dirty habits, your horrible reputation, and how every girl in town thought you were the greatest thing ever.
I knew that you never actually liked me, you just wanted to use me.
I knew all this and ,for some reason, I didn't walk away.
From the moment that I met you, I knew I didn't need you
but I wouldn't mind taking a chance.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Homecoming 2008

"Its not about the amount of punches yoo throw. Or the words yoo can so blindly spit out."

I made homecoming court for Union County High School.
Yes, me. The girl who never expected to win anything and is occasionally looked at with funny glances as I walk down the hall.
I like to do my own thing, your comments have never phased me and all that's ever mattered to me was that I keep my incredibly amazing friends and a good head on my shoulder.
I've succeeded in this.

Maybe it is just the fact that my day has been pretty glum. Or maybe that I have a lot of homework that I am freaking out about on top of all of this.
Whatever the reason may, all your comments you toss my way in hope to bring me down, actually got to me.
I don't know what I was expecting. Maybe that for once, everyone would be happy and excited and pat me on that back saying "good job". Whatever it was, I didn't get.

All day I've heard about how I don't deserve to be on homecoming court.
I don't exactly know how to take that. What was I supposed to do in order to deserve this? Go through some homecoming bootcamp and prove that I wanted this?
I've never seemed excited about it because I'm not one that anyone would ever expect to be chosen to for this.

Despite what you say or how you feel about it, I'm not backing out of this.
For once, the "freaks" get a chance to stand up and be noticed for once. This just proves that you don't have to look or act a certain way to get recognized.
I treat people with respect and I believe that's why I got chosen over some others.

Maybe before you shoot out your purposely hurtful comments, you should think about how it is going to affect others. Not just in this situation, but anytime.
Despite how often I keep my head held high walking past you and I pretend like I can't hear you, I have feelings too.
I'm not immune to your words and it does indeed hurt my feelings.
Please, just think before you spit out your insults.
I have faith that these people aren't bad people, they are just getting caught up in silly high school drama. None of this is going to matter 2 years down the road.
What is going to matter is how you treat others. Work on that and just be happy for what's going on right now.

In conclusion, all I have to say is this will be the most rockin' homecoming ever :D

Monday, September 22, 2008

I'm starting over.

I have realized that I let myself go.
I got that bulletproof mindset and it's most definitely starting to tear me apart.
So here's to starting over and becoming a better person.
Yes, I "start over" quite a bit but I like to start with a clean slate sometimes and become a better person.

I am going to make sure I get all my chores around the house done and not stay up so late at night. My parents do enough for me...I need to start doing my part to help out as well.
I am going to get in the habit of brushing my teeth, showering, and washing my face every night. Yeahhh I'm quitting my never showering habit. Whoo Hoo! This shouldn't be something I have to work on...but I'm gross and I forget sometimes. Hahhha!
I am going to STUDY when I say I'm going to study. I refuse to let phone conversations run on through my studying time. I am shooting for straight A's come report card. Progress report is going to SUCK and I'm ashamed of that.
I need to learn how to balance out boyfriend, friends, family, guard, school, and my clothing line.
1. Family
2. School
3. Guard
4. Friends
5. Boyfriend
6. Clothing line
I wish I had more time for clothing line but the people in my life are more important than my hobby.

I'm going to be asleep by midnight every school night.
and I'm going to keep my room clean.
I'm not to needlessly argue or complain. I'm going to control things bothering me and focus on more important things than silly teenage drama.
I QUIT MYSPACE! Well, I cut myself down to only an hour on myspace a night.

Yeahh I think that is all I have to work on.
I'm going to start on my list :D

Saturday, September 13, 2008

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

I never thought that line could ever actually apply to something; at the moment, it most certainly fits.

I finally met this amazing guy. I know, I know, I ALWAYS talk about finding "the most amazing guy ever" buuut I have to find a flaw in this one. Just looking at him gives me butterflies. He's amazing. He's cute, goes to my school, not into drugs or sex, is funny, cute acting as well, and he can sing well.
He makes me incredibly happy!!!
The best of times.

My grandmother got admitted to the hospital yesterday afternoon due to panic attacks. The hospital kept her overnight and said she could come home today. Apparently, she has some sort of eternal bleeding and has to stay till at LEAST Monday to get tests and stuff done. She's really weak and her blood isn't holding iron very well. I went to see her today; she doesn't look that bad but I'm still incredibly worried. People with plans cannot die. We're going to Pigeon Forge in October and to a Scottish concert in late September and in 7 months we are planning to go to Toronto for a few weeks. Grams has too much going on to be sick. She HAS to get better, I just know it.
The worst of times.

I want to be happy to the fullest extent of happy, but I cannot. I want Grams to be okay and things to go back to normal

Sunday, August 24, 2008

A list.

Of things I, personally, want to better myself in.

1. I want to do better in school. I'm shooting for all A's! Even in math :D
2. I want to be a better friend.
3. I needa start paying more attention to my appearance. -CHECKAROO!
4. I want to keep my room cleaner - CHECK
5. I want to learn how to cut/style/dye my own hair
6. I want to save up my money
7. I needa do better around the house
9. I need to learn say no sometimes
10. I want to become a role model to someone
11. I want to be something worth looking up to
12. I want to get out of the habit of cutting my hair...which totally cancels out number 5
13. I need to stop staying up so late on school nights
14. I want to broaden my interests
15. I want to meet new people
16. I need to stop taking things for granted and appreciate everything
17. I want to remain with my 15 year old innocence
18. I want to be a better girlfriend - CHECK!
19. I want to learn to speak French
20. I needa get over my fear of crickets.
21. I need to get in the habit of showering everyday -Nawww showering will always be a waste of time...forget it.

I'll add to this as it comes to me.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Reality Check.

I'm past due for one of these.
It just hit me Friday that I let my ego get the best of me. When you're even annoying yourself, you know there is a problem.

I guess I've just gotten so caught up in my clothing line and such. I'm overwhelmed by the fact that people really love my designs and that I finally learned how to cut my own hair. I'm honestly not one of those egoistical people, nor do I want to start being one.

Sophomore year so far is not going as well as I would like it to.
I'm enrolled in pottery, mostly by accident but I decided just to stick with it. It's gonna be a mega hard class and no one in that class exactly likes me...or so I'm getting that feeling.
I really miss have an awesome English class. Last year, Krieger's class was kind of my security blanket and now I only have an incredibly difficult Literature class to look forward to. [or I've been told it's very hard]

Also, I lost a, who I thought to be, very close friend of mine. The worst part is, I'm not even sure if she knows it. We spent all of freshman getting closer and over the summer she basically said we're (being Blairsville kids) not good enough to be friends with her. Whatever. Totally not like that hurts or anything *sarcasm used*

Deana is off living her dreams and I can't help but envy that. I miss her but she promises to come home a lot and that's good enough for me =].

I've heard of sophomore slump, but I didn't know it was going to begin the very first week of school.

I also miss having a boyfriend a tiny bit ^-^

Kay. I think I've humbled myself down now...

I'm so sick of missing people!
I want everyone I miss right now to come together in one big Bri's Friends Reunion.
I also wanna meet new I can miss them too.

My life is awesome right now by the way. I'm posting a blog like this because I was in severe need of a reality check.

I'm not anywhere near being a designer. I'm still just struggling with everything and so far, with pure luck, I've had a lot of happy accidents [as Mrs. Marsh would say].
I still have a long way to go to even reach the starting point I need to be at.

I need to stop being lazy and kick it into gear. This year isn't going to be easy...I can already tell.

See ya.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Summer is good for writing blogs.

This is a blog of my life updates. Nothing too interesting XD

Yesterday, I finished The Count of Monte Cristo for Mrs. Bachelor's class. Wow. That book was seriously amazing! A few times I was confused beyond belief (I'll admit that) but the ending paid off for all that. I really enjoyed that book :D

With that out of the way, I have time to focus on my
indie clothing line I'm attempting to get started.

I've grown a lot this summer. Not height wise, of course; but most definitely mentally. I've had a lot of time to sit back and look into new ideas and lifestyles that most of us never get that chance to learn about.
I've taken on Buddhism. It's a lot to learn about and I've come no where learning everything in the 2 months I've been studying it. I'm pretty sure you can consider me Buddhist now though. It's the only religion I've agreed full terms with.

I've been studying the world of decora (aka Harajuku). For those of you not familiar with what that is, it's a fashion trend that is common in Tokyo. Boys and girls in their teens basically dress up...wait. It looks like this.
Yep yep. I've known about it for about a year buut I find it rather cool.

I doubt anyone is going to bother reading this.
and I'm tired of typing and while looking for that Harajuku picture I completely lost my train of thought.

I only have one more week left of summer. Then I have guard camp till school starts.
9am-9pm for two straight weeks.
Basic guard training 20-24 9am-4pm
I'm totally prepared :]

Saturday, July 12, 2008

sci-fi freak, hey!

so I've put thought into it and I've expressed my thoughts to several different people at random times but I felt like writing a new blog and my alien reasonings
seemed like the perfect thing to write about.

You know how scientists are only exploring planets that have similar habitats of Earth for living creatures?
I mean, if these "creatures" needed Earth-like living situations, they would live on Earth in the first place.
How do we know that these "creatures" don't live off of dirt or thrive in the scorching heat of the sun?
We're only exploring planets similar to the Earth because we're highly naive.
Americans are the worst.
We go to GREAT measures to try and make the rest of the world exactly like us.
Hey, I have no problem with that. If other nations are willing to live like us, so be it. But why can't we just understand that other people (or "creatures") are unique from us?

I can't go into grand details as to what I'm trying to say because I've never studied the environments of other planets but I think I made my point.

Scientists, I realize you went to college and got a million different degrees stating that you are indeed brilliant, but think outside the box a bit.
Maybe you ruined all your chances of finding aliens by making Pluto a non-planet. You've upset the aliens and they don't wanna talk to us anymore. Thanks

You may now comment and tell me interesting things you know about space and aliens and what not.

Space interests me. But also scares the heck outta me at the same time.
I'll save that for another blog.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

The worst could possibly be for the best

Leave it to family from out of town that you haven't seen in 5 years
to bring out the weirdest qualities of people.

I won't tell you how it went down cause I was asked not to.
But my oldest sister from Florida went home today.
However, not before she made a huge scene and made me start thinking how much I really do owe a thank you to my parents.
Sure they argue, cuss, scream, and sometimes tick me off.
But hey, what family DOESN'T have their downsides?!

My parents have never been people to put me in a bubble and hide me from the realities of people.
They've never put me in a bubble and told me "this is what you have to be".
They've given me the whole world before me and have made it up to me (for the most part) to make what I want with it.
I've been taught that drugs will ruin my shot at making this world my own and it's just ridiculous to rush into relationships with guys.

My family trusts and cares about me and I would never take advantage of that. They give me just enough freedom to where I can look and think how I please as well as know what's right from wrong. I make awesome grades, am not into anything harmful to me, and I respect my parents to the max. Sure, some elders may look down upon the fact that I want to grow up and possibly become a tattoo artist. I want to get facial piercings and dye my hair 3 different neon colors. I want to go spend a summer in Tokyo just to soak in their amazing lifestyle and I want to move to Toronto, Canada and have a hairless cat and a pug.
And you know what?
My parents have never been ones to tell me my craziest dreams are stupid.
In my mind, thanks to the support they give me, anything is still completely possible.

And it sucks that my sister cannot see that.
It sucks that she didn't even make it 24 hours here in Georgia with her family.
But hey, in the long run...the worst is very muchly for the best.

Monday, June 16, 2008

So I'm a wee bit disappointed

Mostly just in myself.
I mean, blaming small towns and not being able to go anywhere
without the aid of someone else's car aside, I'm disappointed.
I've been on this world for 15 years and I have absolutely nothing to show for it!
I have good grades, awesome friends, a lot of confidence in myself, and nothing in my life is terribly horrible but seriously...I have yet to do anything that's incredibly special
Every time I start to get somewhere with something, I get bored and give it up.
Which, needless to say, is not a good quality to have.

I've spent far too many days doing nothing except surfing the web and watching pointless television. I have big dreams but doing nothing to reach them.
Basically this is just a self-motivation blog.
I need to stop being lazy and actually do something.
I'm quite tired of feeling unimportant and boring.
and I'm tired of cleaning the house EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! no house is THAT dirty!!!!!

When exactly do the "best years" of my life start??
Yeah, I'm 15 and I've been told that this is my time to do nothing buuut I know people who already famous fashion designers at my age!
Ughh...I'm tired of feeling horrible

Saturday, May 31, 2008

Here's a challenge for you...

put down your teeny fashion magazines and strip away your limitations.
For just a second about forget looking cool and trying to impress your crush.

I love teenagers. How awkward we all are
and how we think our tiniest problems are going to END THE WORLD.
One thing I don't particularly like is how boring we have all become.
Sure, it's been drilled in your head since the day you were born that there
is a "certain way" you must look, dress, act, talk if you ever plan to get anywhere in life but can we just forget about all that for a minute?

I'm NOT talking about being original. I am not provoking everyone go out and completely bombard the city and go against everything they know.
My point is the lack of personality we have.
What happened to good ole fashioned creativity? Have we been completely brainwashed into what the media says we SHOULD do?
What happened to laughing till you cried and stomping the bleachers to death during "We Will Rock You" ??
orrr uhh whatever the name of that song is...

For one second of your life
say how you actually feel, not what people tell you you should be saying.
Go out and play in the rain and show some courtesy to those around you (being a jerk is definitely not flattering. No matter what people say)
Tell a cheesy joke, listen to an unsigned band, be nice to the nerd everyone hates for no reason, ect.
Have fun and live life instead of sitting on your butt fantasizing about the things you could be doing.


Monday, May 19, 2008

Freshman year.

After more camping trips than I can count, several visits to weird run-down towns, and far too many encounters with people who think "pull my finger" is the funniest thing in the world, I am finally the person I've always wanted to be.
I guess I could also thank high school for that. It truly does change you whether you notice it or not. Luckily, it changed me for the better (in my opinion).
Freshman year is 5 days from coming to an end. In the past school year I've met so many amazing kids, remained a serious procrastinator, been faced with problems I'd never excepted to be faced with, lost friends, re-learned to play clarinet, made color guard, and probably a lot more amazing things that I can't remember right now.
To sum it up, I LOVE Freshman year. Sure, we all have our ups and downs and complaints about everything but it's all cool.
I love everything high school has to offer and I love how much I've learned. Hopefully, the next 3 years will be just as amazing.
Sorry, I don't have any complaints. I LIKE B-Ville and it's small town charm. I LIKE the stupid people I'm faced with and the problems they bring. I LIKE silly trends. Hey, maybe that's just me but this is my blog so I dun care XD

I'm going to school now. EOCTs today! ohhhboy. That is one thing I DO NOT LIKE.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

I preach too much a desperate attempt to BETTER our world. but no one is ever around to listen. So here, have a blog. Read it if you want, ignore if you want, do what you want, I don't care.

Look in the mirror and ask yourself "who am I?" if you can come up with a accurate answer, good job. If you can't, well maybe this blog is for you.

I'm sitting back laughing as my classmates destroy their lives bit by bit. To me, I find it humorous. People beating each other up over "talking crap" about your former best friend who dated this guy you knew through another friend who you got in a fight with last year over who liked Bring Me The Horizon more at a concert where this really hot guy stared at your best friend who you don't talk to anymore. Dumb, yes? That's what I'm getting at!
People getting into drugs thinking it'll make them look cool and suddenly all their problems will just vanish. When in reality they are just too weak to deal with what is going on around them.
Sure "it's their life!!! Maybe they like being like that! Let em do what they want."
I'm all for doing your own thing and living your own life.
But what happens when your life starts affecting mine?
We're in high school right now and it's hard to fathom the real world. However, one day, all you sceney piercing crazed [man]whores are going to be America. You're going to be the one out there ruling our country!
Then what?
I think I may feel the need to speak up around that time. But then will too late.
Having sex with every guy you meet will NOT get your ex boyfriend to take you back. People thinking you look nice on MYSPACE does not make you a model.
I hate the 21st century.
Outspoken people have to turn to blogs, such as this one, to try and get their point across since no one cares to listen!
Sticking up for you what believe in is overtaken by the fear of losing a friend or two along the way.
Virginity is given up in fear that your "totally hot" boyfriend/girlfriend is gonna leave you. Ha!
Failing school is not cool! "hahhh I made a 20 math test! That's lower than yours! hahahahah"
Stop talking....
What are you gonna do once your day isn't planned out for you anymore? You don't have classes you have to go to, you don't have parents telling you when to go to bed, and you're totally on your own?
Drugs 24/7? Whoring yourself out to a different guy every night?
Cool. If that's the way you want to live, so be it!


I'm tired of meeting "original" people! I want someone who is REAL!!!! Someone who will just tell me what's on their mind and not sugarcoat it. I want leaders! I want people willing to take a stand! I want people who firmly believe in things and stand for SOMETHING!!!

Please please please stop throwing your life away!!!!!!!!
You're so much better than you give yourself credit for.
We all have bad days; there are cures other than drugs.
Smile once in awhile.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Something I need to realize...

the way people live, does not affect my life.
I hate when people tell me what I'm doing is lame or they think I should be living differently, etc.
Well when I rag on people for the choices they make that I think are bad, I'm pretty much being a hypocrite.
I call people fake just because they like something different now. I lose friends over the fact that they are "copying" others.
Of course, someone taking words out of your mouth and trying to make them sound original is annoying as hell but some people are like that.
We are merely teenagers. No matter how much we want to think we're more than that, in all honesty, we're not. We're all just placed in a group of confused people struggling to find themselves.
Some will mature faster than others, some will get straight A's and know exactly where they are going with life, some will conform, some will rebel, some will do some drugs, some will choose otherwise, some have no idea who they are yet, and so on.

The past two books I've read, have taught me a lot.
[If you haven't yet, you should read The Perks of Being a Wallflower and To Kill a Mockingbird at some point in your life.]
They taught me: there is no such thing as a bad person, just a person that requires a bit more understanding then others. We all have bad days, we all make mistakes. At least once in a lifetime, you will travel in the wrong direction and no one other then you can fix that. Place yourself in another's shoes before you judge them. Learn about their past, family, and what they are currently dealing with.

Everyone is going to change a million times.
People are going to like the same thing as you.
Everyone will make mistakes.
People will disagree and try to change you.
Being yourself does not mean that you're the complete opposite of everyone else.
Being yourself means that you're who you are and like what you like and have the power to overcome others' opinions.

Monday, April 7, 2008

this is directed towards girls

I wish more girls would realize that...

...he doesn't "love" you, he just wants to sleep with you
...your at-home piercings look ridiculous're not original, you're just fake many guys you sleep with or date, does not determine who are as a person
...if you're a slut of COURSE all of the hot guys are gonna hit on you. But going back to my first statement,well, you get it I hope.
...posting a half nude picture of yourself and having all the guys think you're "beautiful" is not actual beauty
...wearing your anti-war save the planet shirts is doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to stop the war OR save the planet. It's just a fashion trend! Actually take action if you care about it! are not a hippie just because you like the peace sign. Yet again, just another trend.
...writing on your shoes does not make you grunge
...when going to meet a new guy and "hoping nothing happens" is a lie. Nothing will happen unless you want it to happen. It didn't "just slip"'re fat because you choose to be fat shouldn't expect others to feel sorry for your mistakes
...crying at school is not cool. Everyone realizes you're just wanting attention. shouldn't pierce your lip in class. Your boyfriend will dump you and others will think it's hysterically funny. [everyone should know who that one is directed towards]
...people aren't jealous of you, they just think you're retarded

That's all for now. Although I'll probably add more later

Tuesday, April 1, 2008


Dear School,
I'm too tired to do homework.

Monday, March 31, 2008

After the incident today in band

Sorry folks,
maybe I'm just slow...but I did not see what the big deal in Heather's blog was all about.
But, it made me think about something.

I contradict myself a lot.
Not on purpose, of course, and definitely not to impress someone.
Sorry Mrs. Krieger, I probably used my commas wrong there.
Anyway, back to my point.
I contradict myself when I learn something new or just take the time out to think about what I just said. Something I may have said 5 minutes ago probably sounds incredibly stupid to me now.
When people point out a different way of looking at things, I may change my opinion.
It doesn't mean I'm contradicting myself, I'm just looking at things through a different perspective and I happen to like it better.

Trust me, I'm not getting in the middle of anything.
I'm writing this to make sense in my own always.
Yes, there is probably something I missed in what you guys were talking about earlier.
You guys = Stephanie, Richard, and Heather.

I just wanted to post this so that maybe someone can point out a flaw in my ways of thinking.
HEY! I may even look at it through your eyes and change my opinion.
I made a joke XD get it? get it? get it?

I've got math homework

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Uhmmm yeah

I've been thinking and I'm tired of worrying myself over other people's choices.
I'm tired of judging people just by who they hang out with or what they are or are not addicted to.
I do agree people change and half of the people I know often will change a million times in the next four/three years.
I really need to learn to accept that.

I've been talking badly about a lot of people that I'm not really close to and I don't know THAT much about recently.
I'm beginning to realize that this isn't really my style.
I honestly do like to get along with everyone that I can.
I mean, hey, we are all supposed to forgive and forget every once and awhile, right?
Just don't PERSONALLY screw me over and I don't care what you do.
It's your life do what you want.

Consider this one of my million changes I'm planning on making in the next four/three years.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

I don't even know the point of this

It's midnight on Easter. Well...I guess now it's Monday.
Or close to.
Tonight is really weird.
I don't know what it is about it. Seems like a perfectly normal day, of course.
I don't know if others get this way or if I'm just insane.
Either way, I'm using my blog to discuss yet another only-important-to-me topic.

My family came over, today being Easter and all.
We pretty much sat around and ate far too much.
Pretty much, we eat till we feel our hearts will give out
then we drink tea.
It's a tradition. I don't know why.
After we ate,
we sat around and played Are You Smarter Then a 5th Grader?
Apparently, being rednecks is also a tradition.
You'll be happy to know, my mom and I are the only ones in my family that are, in fact, smarter then a 5th grader.

I'm listening to Kylewilliam. AKA Imadethismistake.
But I liked him better when it was just Kylewilliam.
He's been my favorite since 8th grade.
Oh hey, that wasn't too long ago.
I don't care.

I totally forgot where I was going with this blog.

It's midnight.
I have school tomorrow.
I should be asleep right now.
Apparently, it's supposed to snow soon.
I WANT A PUG! I found the perfect one today. But she's $300 and 429.4 miles away.

Dakora sent me the really old Imadethismistake song.
I'm going to go listen to it about 12 times and then go to sleep.
Say hi to me tomorrow =]

Friday, March 21, 2008

Oh Hai!

You know how they say you learn something new everyday?
Well, it's true.

I now know the difference between
then and than.
Then - shows a time period "Then she went over there"
Than - shows a comparison. "I'd rather have crayons than apples"
Horrible examples, but you get the point.

Thanks Mrs. Krieger!

Monday, March 17, 2008

Today was lame

I was pretty bummed out through the most of today.
I hate bad moods.
If you know me at all, you know bad moods aren't my thing.

I got my hair cut Saturday and due to lack of wanting to wake up this morning,
I didn't get a chance to fix it properly.
Being the teenage girl that I am, this caused me to be pissy all day today.

There is also several other things that
angered me today.
But I don't know how to address such things without sounding like a total
None of which I am, thanks XD

I'm going to Florida soon.

I am really sick of people being mean for no apparent reason.
I don't care if you don't want to be bff's with someone,
at least be civil to them when they need help.
You're only making yourself look bad in the long run.

Bubblegum Octopus is good.
I need a job.
I'm going to have to wake up earlier then usual tomorrow.
I miss my hair.
I cannot wait till warm time comes around.
Screaming techno is just overall intriguing

Peace out

Monday, March 10, 2008

Prepare for the greatest summer ever!!

Trust me, I'm already prepared.
I've already made sooo many plans with people!
On my computer, which I don't have right now, I've made a to-do list of everything I want to do this summer.
I refuse to be bored once school lets out.
I just really hope my plans don't all fall through.

Summer 2008:
-Attend my 2nd Warped Tour with Stephanie, Bonnie, Farrah, and whoever else wants to chill with us.
-Dye my hair blonde with lime green blotches....or something involving those colors.
-Learn to skateboard
-Have a hippie day and protest for a cause.
-HOPEFULLY go see Enter Shikari and Brokencyde [if they ever get over here]
-Re-do my room
-Have/go to a rave
-Go camping

Uhmmm I have a bunch of other stuff planned, but like I said my to-do list is on the computer in which blew up.
Feel free to make plans with me =]

Now, off to completely conform the man...or woman in this case, and do some homework.
Only not.

Friday, March 7, 2008


We got straight superiors at chorus festival today!!!!!


Thursday, March 6, 2008


It's really strange
how one side of a relationship can be stronger than
the other person's side of the relationship.
Like how one person can be completely crazy about their significant other
and the other person doesn't really care...doesn't seem like
they are proud to be in the relationship.

It's really strange
how strange things like this bother me.
unimportant tiny details that no one else probably notices at all.

I don't understand how this can be.
I don't understand relationships...not just boy/girl relationships...
like any kind of relationships.
Why we choose to be friends with some, why we despise others.

I've noticed,
there is a lot of things I don't understand
a lot of things I probably won't understand
and a lot of things that aren't meant to be understood by anyone.
I suppose life is like that so we don't all get bored...
I mean if there is nothing left to learn and experience, what is there to do?

I've also noticed,
"Asleep" by The Smiths is really as beautiful as the perks of being a wallflower
describe it to be.

Today was basically amazing! =]

and nothing short of amazing, fo sho.

After 3 years,
I am finally braceless!!!
I hate it actually.
I think I looked better with braces...but hey, whatever.

I got out of school early
Saw my ex boyfriend
Went to Zaxbys
The weather was AMAZING
I bought a new shirt and some shoes
and yeahhh
that's about all =]

I don't really have too much to say.
Just wanted to say that today was amazing.

Oh and Koda is still awesome XD
I talked to him for like an hour today
annnd he texts me all the time, so that's pretty much all day we talk
I wish he lived closer =[

But hey!
I get to see him on SATURDAY!!!!

Tomorrow is chorus festival

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Life as of now

I'm to the point where I'm getting bored with things again.
I mean, really...nothing out of the ordinary has happened.

Cute boys always fall for the pretty girls.
Fat girls moan about being fat but yet never stop eating junk food.
Slackers threaten to drop out of school because their grades are falling.
No one is doing anything to save themselves.

Current life is boring.
Not to mention predictable too.

I want spring to hurry up. I love how spontaneous everyone is around that time of year.
I love how plans don't matter and if you want to do something, you just go do it.
I'm really sick of being cold and never meeting new people.

I think I need a vacation

Monday, March 3, 2008

It's cool, we can still be friends

It's so strange how quickly our feelings towards people change.
One minute you can completely despise someone and then one slightly intelligent conversation later, you remember why you liked them so much in the first place.

Well at least that's how I am.

Like someone I haven't talked to in forever and I see to be a complete waste a space. Well, yeah, I am completely gullible...but I'm convinced that truly are trying to get better now.
How many times have I said that in life? And every time it's been about the same person.
Hmmm now that I think of it, maybe this is just a phase they will grow out of and go right back to their old ways.


That's not my way of thinking. I believe in people and I believe that people can change.
Why do I contradict myself?
oh well this is more or less just a train of thought then an actual opinion.

I truly do have faith in a lot of people though and I don't think people would go out of their way to make me think they are something they aren't.
I don't know.

Tonight is insane.

I'm Atheist
so I found this interesting"zDHJ4ztnldQ
Feel free to watch it if you want.
But please keep in mind I'm not forcing my beliefs onto you....I found this interesting.
You, believe in what you want to.

I'm done for the night.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008


Everything is changing far too quickly
I fear I'm not keeping up very well

Monday, February 25, 2008

I love my family!

Over dinner my dad and I got in a long discussion of how stupid people are.
He was ranting on and on about how capitalism is destroying our country
and how can people be so dumb to fall for crap like that?

After dinner, he was attempting to clean off the top of the ketchup bottle with his DIRTY napkin.
Well Mom and I yelled at him for being disgusting so he got up and threw the bottle away.
The whole time Mom is screaming "noo! Don't throw it away! Awhhh man why'd you throw the ketchup away?"
Maybe I'm just too far indoctrinated by my family, but I found it hilarious.

Just made me think how unfortunate some kids are.
The kids with the "Perfect American Family"
Their mom is involved in every sport they do and is always the one who brings in stuff for class parties/projects.
Their dad volunteers to coach the school team and has a perfect job as some high class business man.
The children don't learn a cuss word except for at school and they are taught manners that must CONSTANTLY follow and they get grounded for disagreeing with their parents.

My mom is just like a teenager.
We hang out and talk about boys and friends and drama and sex and drugs and whatever you would talk to your best friend about.
My dad is an alcoholic ex-biker.
He's covered in tattoos [yes, that's were I get it from], he cusses like crazy, he's Atheist, etc.
My family argues like crazy and I don't even know half of my family cause of some heated argument that has been going on ever since before I was born.

I love it and I honestly don't see why anyone would want a "picture perfect" lifestyle.

I don't care that the world thinks my family is crazy. We aren't some lowlife drug using family and we live in a big home.
Sooo you know, I'm okay with letting people know my family actually has fun and are completely real people

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Soo I noticed....

that all my blogs have something to do with me complaining about something.

For once,
I want a well-rounded blog.
I don't really whine that much, I just use my blog to vent stuff that is bothering me.

I had a really good day today =]
Aside from the fact that I'm short and people overlook me a lot
annnd that I found out that I was accused of doing drugs at school annnnnd that some random girl wants to kill me for no apparent reason.
I haven't done anything to I'm gonna do my best to resolve this.

High school -sigh-

Saturday is the concert =D
My boyfriend, Koda, is coming up. I like him a lot.
I seriously think he's the greatest boy I've dated.
No lies

Stephanie is HOPEFULLY coming to concert with me.
Then she can meet Koda .

I'm so excited!!

I cannot wait to get this "drug" and "fighting" issue over with.

Stuff currently annoying me:
- Girls -Friends who do drugs and drag me into it -That it's only Thursday
-My retainer -We have no oreos -My pants are too tight -My hair refuses to stay spiked up.

that is all for today

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

I'm tired of people....

Yeah..that basically sums up
everything this post is going to contain.
Almost everyone I have ever met have disappointed me in some way.
Aside from a certain few, and they should be able to tell who they are.
Whether someone I knew got into drugs, completely let themselves go, lost all self respect, haven't been the best of friend (not just to me, to anyone), etc. almost EVERYONE has let me down.

I'm tired of it!!

I guess what set me off what my ex and one of my friends.
To my knowledge, today was the first day my friend has ever done drugs...although I could be wrong. She ended up getting caught with them and blah blah blah all of that. She skipped school the other day and ever since she's been dating a new boy, she seems to of lost respect for herself.
I love her and I'm not considering this talking behind her back.
She knows I'm disappointed and I'm not really complaing, I'm more or less just concerned.

As for my ex, well everyone pretty much knows that story.
I wasted a year of my life on him.
Back when I knew him, he was the greatest boy in the world in my opinion.
Sure he's always had some problems and we fought all the time, but I still "loved" him. And he's the only boy I'm willing to use the word "love" for.
He was cute, sweet (to me at least), called me all the time, went out of his way to see me (usually), and I was completely head-over-heels for the boy.
Now, I can't even carry on a decent conversation with him.
He's into drugs and sex. He has no respect for himself (in my opinion, anyway) and he sells himself short all of the time!
I know how great of a guy he is capable of being, he just choses to be the way he is.
I really do miss what we used to have.

I HATE how gullible my generation is.
Boy : I love you
Girl : Kay; let's have sex since you love me!
Boy : -leaves next day-
dumb story, but you get the point.


I'm currently completely happy with my life.
My best friend is amazing and I have the most awesome boyfriend ever
but you know, it's hard to forget someone that you spent a year caring about and people that you care about in general.

That's all.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

A slight introduction to myself

I was born Brianna Rawley on May 9th, 1993.
I reside in a small town in Georgia.
My life isn't too exciting, but I try to spice things up here and there...just to myself sane. you know...

Big words are not my thing.
I am merely a teenage girl trying to find her way in this world. I don't even attempt to cover up my flaws and I'm very real with everyone.
I try really hard to get along with everyone. I laugh really loud all the time. I'm selfish and scatterbrained. I cannot be mean to someone's face to save my life. I'm a huge pushover, as much as I hate to admit that. I'm lazy.
And I have very little idea of what I want to do with my life.

I am Straightedge.
For me, that is a lifelong vow and no, I will not get over it; no, i will not make you an exception.
I would really just like a boy that is chill with my choice of living. I'm done with all you sex addicted jerks. You're not worth my time.

I've had my share of crappy relationships. In a way, I guess I want to thank them. I'm a lot stronger of a person now and I've learned not to fall for people's crap all the time.
and even when i do, i find it really easy now to say "screw it" and get over them altogether.

I am constantly changing myself for the better. There is no way I can write myself down. I know everyone says this, but I do really believe it to be true.

I am confident in myself, but not cocky.
I'm optimistic about EVERYTHING and I cannot stand negative people.
I actually really enjoy Mozart and jazz [along with the more recent screamo, rock, alternative, punk]

I want to get my monroe pierced and I want a bunch of tattoos.

I'm just beginning to think deeply and grow as a human.
I've changed a lot recently (for the better I would like to think)
get to know me if you haven't already