New Perspective.

I've been viewing everything differently lately.
A lot has been changing and I'm enjoying it, for the most part.
It seems that everyone is moving somewhere different. Even if it's just down the street.

Love is my primary difference I suppose.
Relying on someone no longer scares me and I think it'd be awesome to not only have a partner in crime but a partner in...well, everything!
I think young marriages are cute and I'm looking forward to decorating a house with someone.
Personally, I still dislike kids but they look cute with other people!

I've fallen out of caring about high school.
Well, maybe not so much the school aspect although I do believe that teachers are out to get me right now.
But the people are what is really getting to me.
I can't walk down the hallway without hearing sooo many negative comments. Who cares what so&so did with her hair? Who cares that he likes her again and OMIGAH you can't believe he'd do that?
Just...who cares?
I realize that for most, these are the best years of their lives but ugh.
I'm so sick of negativity.
-shrug-

I've also calmed down slightly.
I can actually sit still for longer than 5 minutes now.
I spent 2 hours sitting around with a long-lost friend of mine last weekend.
We went from sitting in a tree to sitting on the grass back to a tree then to a different tree. Most enjoyable experience I've had in awhile. I like those people you can just sit and talk to.

I think I might take up the guitar again.
I'll unleash my skillz at Summerfest! (:

$7 Love Affair

a friend told me that I'm become known for these.
no longer will I have a name...just "that girl with the monster shoes"
I realized, I am more than okay with this (:

Self made monster shoes!
I borrowed the idea from a girl on Etsy who goes by Em & Sprout.
I would of bought them from her, and I really wanted to.
But I didn't have $31 for hers and mine were only $7.

Yep!
I am happy
and so are the monsters residing on my feet:D!

Embracing The Rain!

Cause for a change, I really am diggin' the rain (:
I'm definitely more of a fan of storms than just rain but either will do for now.

Today, my friend Will asked me to take him home
I said sure before realizing that he was joking so he just hopped in my car
and I headed to his house!
Not very far out of town but a lot of twisty one-lane roads and a few turns onto even smaller roads.
He kept saying "ohhman I'll feel so bad if you got lost on your way out!"
Well, of course, I did get lost.
I drove around trying to find something that looked familiar and I came across a church that had a sign outside, as most churches do. The sign said "Lost? Let God be your GPS"
Not two minutes after that, I found the bridge that I was looking for and safely got back on the main road to head home.
Kudos to you, God!

I'm single again.
Nothing actually went down, I just am not a fan of long distance relationships
and quiet people kinda freak me out.
We ended on good terms
and I still hope we can be friends!
So that is that.

I'm out of that place between sleep and awake.
I'm fully convinced that I'm awake right now (:

Everything is running smoothly and I'm very happy.
More than happy, I am at a constant level of content so no matter what, I'm just cheerfully observing my surroundings.

19 days left of school.
I couldn't be more ready...
Summerfest is coming up June 11th and I'm going to see Greenland is Melting at Wonderroot on May 27th!
SATs are this upcoming Saturday.
I still have another custom order to get done and have shipped out within the next week or so.
&& my imadethismistake CD has yet to get here. Stupid pre-ordering :(

Stuck In That Place Between Sleep and Awake.

Actually putting meaning behind my blog title, I think I'm stuck here!
All week I haven't been able to differentiate between being sleep and being awake.
And it is rather true that in this place is where I will always love you
[please note to my last blog post]
After my random breakdown the other day and my eyes not being fully opened all week...it's starting to get to me.

I'm running around looking for somewhere to hide till things start making sense.
It freaks me out further that I can't find a place like that.
Not even my studio's warm embrace has solved the issue.
Although, I will say, I'm very happy with the progress in business I have been making!
I have 3 custom orders lined up right now!
One is almost finished
the other one not even started
and the other one is still far off in planning.

I'm silly for thinking this would be easy
but I could only hope.

I'm going to spend the rest of my evening staring at the TV while listening to music and just mental healthasizing myself.
I'm diggin' the rain a bit.
I hope later on tonight I can make a phone call that will allow me to set my heart back out on my sleeve and provide a sincere apology that is taken for what it's worth.

That Place Between Sleep and Awake.
In reality,
not such a fun place to be.

Two Things That Don't Mix

crying & driving.
especially spontaneous freakouts when a song I haven't heard in ages comes on and I suddenly start thinking about you and how in less than 20 days, you're leaving and I'm never going to see you again.
Maybe this is just an act of desperation but I'm miserable more often than I should be.
When I think of how to fix things, all roads lead back to you.
I'm not very good at making hints that aren't completely obvious so I'm sure everyone knows who I'm talking about.
I can't say that I care though.
I don't think feelings like this are meant to be ignored.
If even after months and months, the mere thought of you can bring me to tears...while driving (very, very dangerous by the way).

Oh yeah, it was this song that was playing, by the way...



And this is about the time I broke down....

"what happened to us?
i heard that it's me we should blame.
what happened to us?
why didn't you stop me from turning out this way?
and know that I don't hate you
and know that I don't want to fight you
and know that I'll always love you
but right now I just don't..."

which to bury, us or the hatchet?

All My Friends Are Dead.

Err...well, they may as well be since they're leaving to Washington DC tonight and I won't have anyone but my family and Adam all weekend.
Not that I don't love them...but still.

I think I'm going to spend my weekend getting my 4...or is it 5 now(?) custom orders done for Starship!
Oh & making my hair do this



Yes, Yes
(:

Allow me to exaggerate a memory or two

The Sunday blahs are at it again. They always get the best of me...nearly every week.
So I'm going to give this a shot. Yet again, another borrowed idea from a fellow blogger.
Maybe a Sunday blog of thing that I absolutely adore.

It's that time of the year again that I start making summer plans with all the people that I love.
Current plans consist of a roadtrip to Nashville with Adam, being in a city at night and observing how beautiful everything looks, going to Pittman's house with Farrah and Adam and hanging out at his swimming pool, probably lots of outdoor time, and an acoustic show or two.
Hopefully, these wonderful plans won't fall through like the plans of the past 2 summers have. I mean, this is the last full summer we all have together for next year, people are going to begin leaving and venturing off into their new lives.

I'm trying to convince Adam to adopt one of these since they are perfectly legal in Tennessee, unlike here.

I promised him I'll take care of it.
And we'll name it Naboo Morrissey Garren (:


Nashville!

My birthday is only a few weeks away!
And it falls on Mother's Day again. It's been awhile (for those who don't know, I was born on Mother's Day 1993)

Basically, I want summer break.
I want time to do stuff I love and not stuff I'm forced to do.
I want to spend time with Adam other than on weekends.
I want to be surrounded with people I actually want to be around.
24 days left...maybe? something like that


Here's to an entirely wasted day!

I am well on my way..

...to becoming everything that I've always wanted to be.

Failed Attempts At....err...Everything?

This one-man-band musician boy that I like a lot, known as Failed Attempts at Facial Hair, made a blog about his Top 10 Favorite songs.
I really like sharing music and hearing other people's music as well so I listened and downloaded most of his.
In honor of continuing the sharing of music, here are mine.


1. The Smiths - This Night Has Opened My Eyes
In 7th grade, I picked up The Perks of Being A Wallflower after hearing how it was a great guidebook to the typical teenager's life. Of course, being a 7th grader and really pumped to be almost out of middle school, I wanted to read about how teenagers should act and such. Little did I know, this book would quickly become my favorite and I'd later go on to read it three more times. Anyway, for those who haven't read the book, it features The Smiths. The main character, Charlie mentions Asleep and how it is the most beautiful song he has ever heard. Naturally, I had to go check that song out. I fell in love with the band and moved on to other songs. The chorus of this song makes me fall in love all over again every time I listen to it. "She could have been a poet or so could have been fool" "I'm not happy & I'm not sad"


2. Imadethismistake - Gravediggers on Their Deathbeds Pt. 2
If today is the end, does that mean tomorrow, we get to start new? Of course, imadethismistake was going to make my top favorite songs. I may reach creeper status by remembering the first time I saw this guy live was August 21, 2007. A friend of mine, for those who may not know, used to put together shows here and Kylewilliam (the singer and at the time, the only guy in the band) was just another traveling musician who caught 8th grade me's attention. He's had my attention for 3 years now. At a show of a later time, he explained that Part 1 was about finding his dream girl and all the qualities she would have and how amazing their love would be. Part 2 is about realizing that girl doesn't exist and being perfectly fine with that. Love is meant to have flaws with it. Or something like that...that speech was years ago.


3. Chase Coy/Dear Juliet - All Those Nights
Enough can be said in the very first line of the song - One more year and I'll be heading out on my own. Leaving my friends and the place I come home.
That and I could honestly just take a nap in his voice (:


4. Bright Eyes - A Perfect Sonnet
Bright Eyes, the drug years. I'm a far bigger fan of him during that time than current days. Of course, kudos to him for cleaning himself up! This song reminds me of 8th grade math class, the first week that I met my best friend, Stephuhknee. She had pencils with lyrics to this song written on them.
And, as you may of noticed, my favorite songs are mostly pretty raw sounding and this song is no different.


5. Daniel Bedingfiel - Gotta Get Thru This
Long before anyone ever heard of Natasha, Farrah and I were rocking out to this song. Since I have a song that reminds me of Stephuhknee as one of my friends, this song reminds me of my other best friend. Nostalgia to the max. 5th grade. First time I ever went to Farrah's house. I remember being in, what was, Heather's room, crowded around the computer with Rachael, Deana, Heather, and Farrah listening to this song. I must admit, although I don't often listen to it, I still dig it quite a bit!



I only have a top 5 of songs right now because I'm not old enough to have a giant collection of songs that remind me of the glory days.
There you have it (:

Times Square Can't Shine As Bright As You.

This has been the first season I've watched Project Runway.
Mostly because I was sick of people going
"OH! you're a designer? You must watch Project Runway then..right?"
and then the conversation entirely ending after I said that I had never seen it.

I figured the show was exactly the same as every fashion show. A lot of pompous jerks with their noses in the air going "ohhhdear...this is wrong, all wrong" while sipping weak tea and criticizing everything that walked past.
Well, I was partially right. However, I did fall in love with Seth Aaron who is my current inspiration for all things fashion right now!
I really do adore him :D!
And I hope that I can be that cool when I'm 38. Haha!



Tell me he is not the absolute cutest thing ever (: !
I want one, please!

Oh.
And I also got invited to go check out Pratt University in New York.
The brochure they sent me made it appear to be just as appealing as The Academy of Art and, hey, added bonus is that it's actually on /this/ side of the country :p
I do want to take some time and possibly check it out. Even if it is a far stretch of me ever getting accepted.
-shrug-
I like their spiel of what an artist is:
"It's hard to tell at first. You look around and realize you're different from your friends who want to be doctors and lawyers and who believe that art,design. and writing are, at best, interesting...but 'nothing you can make a living at.'"
Right on, Pratt.



"I'm going to knock the f*****g socks of New York!"
-Seth Aaron
(:

Exactly.

Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys...

Bluegrass & old country is atop my musical tastes right now.
It's so laid back and wonderful (:
Willie is one of those people that I don't believe will ever die. But since the realistic side of me knows better, I just need to brace myself. I'm going to be heartbroken. I've kind of always had a soft spot for him because he looks like my dad and my parents have always played his music around me.


I'm also having a love affair with a new hat I came across yesterday.
It's plain & brown but I realized that by clipping a broach or one of my hair flowers to it, it transforms into the perfect accessories that matches everything I own (:


I'm happy! I've been non-stop happy for nearly 2 weeks.
It's very nice (:
Oh & I like Adam. Which is a good thing since he's my boyfriend but I've just been saying to myself today how much I do like him. He's a neat fellow (:
I'm off to the dog park with Mom!
It's definitely my favorite place in Blairsville!

& this seems like a wonderful place to start!

Spring.
Everyone says this is the season of rebirth. Where everything gets a chance at life for yet another season or two.
So, I find this a wonderful place to start over. To give myself another chance at life - a new life. A different perspective, a different mindset, a different sense of ambition and wonder.

Yet again, I'm traveling down a new path.
To a new destination - an unknown land unseen by most but inhabited by wondrous things to experience!

For a change,
I'm not inviting anyone to come along on this adventure with me.
For a change,
it's up for those who dare to choose to come along with! To show me that they care enough to, at least, keep an eye on me as I travel farther into the opposite direction.


"this is my story & I'm writing it as I go along. My only problem is, I'm writing it in pen"

(:

All I have to say is that I'm happy.
150% happy!



However, I'm also piled with homework so I don't have time to write an actual blog.
^_^