Thursday, July 15, 2010

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

New blog!

I may start neglecting this one for a little while as I'm trying to start pushing my emotions more into my art and not really focus too much on the crappiness of people and such. Hah
But, I have started a new blog on this same account.
My new blog is going to be like a giant "inspiration book" and I'm going to post pictures and stories and other things that inspire me and hopefully will inspire you too!

new blog link:

Sunday, July 11, 2010

reality is like an annoying little kid.
it seems to have taken a liking to running up, slapping me in the face, and then running away, giggling.
I keep watching it and just hoping it trips soon.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

I'm in love with love. Simple as that.

It's been quite awhile since things have changed so much & so quickly.
I don't think it was that long ago when I blogged that yet again, I felt things changing.
Usually when this happens, I'm stuck where things decide to settle for, at the very least, a few months.
This time, however, I got a week.
When things finally began settling in from the last major changing period, it all got uprooted again and my mind is on the move for a new place to settle.

I wonder if anyone else out there understands that feeling.
I just assume that everyone does.

My thoughts just flip & flop back and forth from [my] boy, to Gregory, to Starship, and to wishing my mind would stop its silly flipping and flopping.

It's strange really how close I can be to someone so far away.
Such as Gregory. Who lives in California - six hours from San Fransisco.
Gregory is a boy who I instantly became friends with.
We are both members to this "secret" online group called Infinity.
Upon being accepted into Inifinity, the other members instantly encourage you to post a small "about you" up on the public wall so everyone can greet you and etc.
Well, apparently my "about me" struck Gregory's attention because we instantly started speaking and excitedly saying how much we'd get along.
For months now, he's been one of my closest friends and my "go-to guy"
I rarely ever have to explain how I'm feeling over a situation, he just seems to instantly know.
He's a really awesome person to have around.

He gives me hope that they are still genuine good and loving people in the world.
I so rarely come across one, I question my optimism often.

I'm having a tough time with everything right now to say the least.
I'm trying to be the best person I can be.
In the process though, hurting not only myself but also being reckless with those around me.

I'm still hoping fate will take it's course soon and lead me to something good.
I don't know the reasoning for leading me down this dark trail but, I guess I'll make the best out of it and try to learn something along the way.

I wish for /once/ I was a someone's number one.
I have so many cheesy love lines and random laughing fits stored up, just waiting to be used on someone. I've built love up too much I think and now, I'm just waiting for someone who has done the same.
Farrah and I talked about it last night and the fact that I've never had a good boyfriend. And yet, she got love right on her first shot.

My heart is on my sleeve
and I'm slowly learning, that's not a good place to store it.

I wish I could tattoo it to the palm of my hand so I never forget it.
"Should one find a good companion to walk with
and who is steadfast andupright, one should walk with him with joy
so as to overcome all dangers.If no such companion is found;
it is better to travel alone like a king ...who
has left his kingdom, or an elephant which has left its companions"

Friday, July 9, 2010

better luck next time, prince charming.

my goal for today is simple.
get dressed, feel awesome in my own skin, pop my new mix CD in my car, and let whatever happens today just happen.

I have plans for today actually.
I should be dressed right now already and I should be leaving here in 24 minutes.
But I'm probably not going to.
Partly because the person I have plans with has yet to contact me so I doubt he's even awake yet. And the other part is just that I don't feel like being on time today.
I'm usually the one that is 3 hours early for everything while everyone around me is 3 hours late.

And I'm going to drop by Farrah's house later and hope she's there.
I still need to go buy her birthday card(s)....and some eyeliner.
I feel like there was other stuff I thought of last night that I had to do today...

Oh well.

I successfully remade that poncho in my last blog.
I have a picture of mine on Facebook so go look at it on there if you'd like. I'm too lazy to resize it for my blog.

But yeah.
That's my plan for the day.
Whatever happens, happens.
My trust is in fate's hands today.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Where is my mind?

Happy Birthday Dalai Lama :D!
I'm a day late and I apologize. I had it marked on my calendar but I didn't really have much to blog about yesterday so please accept this belated birthday wish.

My cleansing month and Starship Revamped Week are both going super well!
Tomorrow is supposed to be the last day of Revamped Week but I think I may keep it going for a little while longer because I missed a few days due to the holiday weekend.

for the first time all week, I officially feel really good.
I'm a peace with my mind finally.
I've been meditating almost every night and trying to teach myself new self discipline.
My hardest task is walking to the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water over a soda or resisting the box of lovely donuts on the counter.
But I'm learning to break those habits.

In other news, I don't know where this girl got the poncho from but I'd love to remake it.

I'm pretty sure I'd live in that thing [:
it's sooo cute! ya know, in kind of a pillaging villages kind of way.

So yeahh.
I didn't have much to blog about today.
Other than that I feel awesome and both of my projects are going well!

Farrah's birthday is this Friday :D
She'll finally be joining me in the glorious age of seventeen!
I can't wait to surprise her with the gift I got for her like 4 months ago.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Day 1 of Cleansing; Day 4 of Starship Revamped

For starters, Happy Canada Day! [:

I love you, Canada!

I'm using July as a cleansing month.
I'm going to recenter myself around my religion and do my best to get back to my peaceful mind.
I'm also going to try to cut out soda and icky-for-you foods [which will be hard thanks to July 4th, guard camp, and low funds]
So I guess I'll be using my blog to monitor my success through that!
I have a really hard time sticking to my healthy food choices since no one else in my house is and I don't want to have to ask for special food all the time.

Oh and Starship Revamped
is my other goal that I'm doing right now. For a week [well, it's actually over a week but..whatever.]
I'm going to make at least one new piece for my Starship store every day.
Just to get back in the rhythm of everything.
Today I failed though because I was cutting the grass, giving Strawberry a bath, and am leaving to go to Farrah's house with Pittman and Cody for a movie night
so I would say that missing Day 4 is totally worth it!
I'll get back to it tomorrow. I promise.

I've been having really strange dreams that have all consisted for looking for someone.
It's been like a connected story every night and my mind just picks up right where I left off from the night before. It's weird.
I just go to all these strange places and see all these strange people and go "have you seen...."
and they either shout at me, invite me over for dinner, or point somewhere in the distance.
I haven't heard who I'm looking for yet. It always just cuts off.
I don't know. I'm not complaining. But I sure hope I find whoever it is I'm looking for soon! They might be in danger

I need to go cut layers back into my hair and get ready to go.
blahh clock, stop moving so fast!