Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Just in case, I'll put The Smiths on my Ipod.

Today, I've dedicated to digging into my mind and uncovering all the bands I used to listen to. For some reason, as I do this, I keep thinking about who would be impressed if they decided to randomly go through my Ipod someday.
It brings back a lot of fond memories :]
Like of one day when I was sitting on the Lido Deck of the ship and was desperately hoping that the group of kids around me would like me so I wouldn't be alone for 2 weeks...this boy, Evan (who I'm sure most of my friends have heard about by now), was going through my Ipod and was really impressed how "well-rounded [my] music tastes are". From there on out, we actually had stuff to talk about all the time and he became a really close friend of mine for 2 weeks.
And how Kozlov always used to ask me about bands in Geometry and I'd feel bad when I had no idea what he was talking about.
Music is wonderful C:

Maybe someday I can use my musical knowledge to fall in love with a complete stranger in an elevator.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

I've said it before and I'll say it again

I'm no longer sure of my blog posts because I've posted soooo many over the past 2 years, I don't know what I've addressed or what I've accomplished or even if I've used a title before.

But whether I've said it before or not,
I am happy! I'm always happy!
but I tend to feed off the energy of those around me a bit too much so lately, I've been very drained and easily annoyed.
Whenever I'm alone, my mood enhances by like 20 points..but I hate being alone.

Negativity needs to pack its bags and get far far away from me.
I'm so terribly sick of it.

side note: I've been obsessing over girl singers lately
and been fantasizing about possibly taking up singing again.
Now, all I need is a band to back me up. Hahhh
Whatever. ^-^

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

I am absolutely 150% completely and utterly....

...sick of people letting me down time and time again.

Monday, December 21, 2009

goodbye 2k9

Yes, I know I'm a big premature for writing this blog because I'm stuck with this year for a few more weeks.
but I'm ready to get it over with!
so here is an early blog with a recap of the year.
good, bad, and everything in between
(I think I made an almost exact one of these last year)

-I got my dream car! Scion XB 2006 is now mine :]]
-I wrecked my dream car and have yet to get it repaired...

-I started off the year with a fantastic boyfriend!
-I'm ending it being single with absolutely no interest in anyone.
-I dated my dream boy....who ended up not being anywhere close to who I thought he was

-I visited the Academy of Art's open house in Atlanta and fell in love with the school only to find out that it was in San Fransisco and I wasn't allowed to attend
(parents' rules there)

-I spent the summer volunteering at Castaway Critters and loved every second of it :D! Skye and I became really close during this time period!
and I became obsessed with Big Macs

I guess I kind of only remember the most recent things that have happened really.
My list is short, yes. I changed a lot this year. Maybe not so much changed as just realized that I have no idea who I am.
And that's really hard for me to admit because I was never one of the things I thought I'd have trouble with.
I get so much of "ohhh you like that? well so does ________"
and it happens to be a reoccurring person I hear that about which is the part that bothers me. I don't want to seem like I like stuff because she does.
and I know like what you like and blahhh
but ugh I don't know. For some reason it's just bothering me a lot right now.
I'm running from idea to idea and living up to my claim of changing my mind more than an alcoholic drinks.
I need to calm down and figure out my beliefs on each topic and put a lot of thought into my words before I let them run off my tongue.

As I promised myself last year, I have no new years resolutions this year.

I'm ready for 2010.
I wish each year came with a blank page and a fresh start.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I'm kind of afraid to be honest...

I get so incredibly intimidated when I look at other fashion designers' works. Or even just the style of other people's everyday fashion.
I know that I'm no where near as advanced as others out there. I know I can't dress the way they do or match up to their standards at all.
And that scares the heck out of me. or rather just intimidates me.

In Blairsville, I'm on top of everything.
People comment on my "original" style and how I'm going to go far with my designs...which is too be expected. I'm the only designer in Blairsville.
but when you compare me to the real world, I'm smaller than an ant.

I know I haven't had much experience and I still learn with every piece I create but..I guess I just get anxious sometimes. I want everything now! I want to be the best and the top dog all the time.
I hate the thought of competition but I've gathered that that is all that life turns out to be. One giant competition.
"sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind...the race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself"

Maybe I don't even want to be compared to the rest. Maybe I'll get farther by doing my own thing and never matching their styles.
Come in from the side into the line of fashion instead of taking a direct shot!
That shall be my plan :]
and hey, if I happen to fail, I always have looks to fall back on. I'll just marry rich! (I'm kidding...slightly)

speaking of falling in love and getting married...
am I the only one who gets butterflies looking at him? :]!

I mean, really,how can you not love fashionable Asian boys?!
"Hong Kong, Malaysia, all over Asia, I'll have one of those please!
Asian boy you will be mine!"

I think now at the end of this blog, I managed to flip my mood upside down!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009


I realized tonight that when I'm narrating things in my head,
I use a variety of different accents.
Not sure why but it makes me happy :]!

I'm obsessing over Miss Li right now!
She's soo cute and her music is perfect!

OH! and this camera gives me just about the same feeling as Miss Li does

cute explosion :D!

I'm done :]]

that's what you get...

when you let your heart win.

*clears throat*
I don't like Paramore at all, actually.

anyway...back to my point.
that's what I get for being a pessimist.
I got myself all completely worked up over worrying about how much trouble I'd be in over my car.
Turns out, reality agreed with the way I wanted things to work out in my mind!

I got a "I hope you learned your lesson"
which OHHHMAN did I!
The worry and bother of knowing that my baby car is scratched up is more depressing than any punishment I could be given.
I have to fork out the money for the repair buuuut that is completely understandable and I don't mind that at all.

I'm only partially joking


Monday, December 7, 2009

Can we get bartering back up in hur, please?!

ohhh how I hate money.
Reason One: I can never do anything fun without the spending of money is some fashion.
And if there is a way, well, I don't know it. Other than sitting at each others' houses.

Reason Two: I always want to buy things for people! or lend them money. Because, hey, I like people to have cute stuff and I already have or can make things that I want ^-^

Christmas is coming up FAST! Hooray! right?
Well...I would think so. over $200 in my checking account and loads of fun present ideas! Sweaters, quirky necklaces, high-class makeup, thoughtful things for my family (FIRST YEAR I CAN BUY THEM STUFF THAT THEY DON'T KNOW ABOUT :D!), etc.
But now, thanks to my tiny screw up, I'm probably going to have to lessen my present giving and resort to either making a lot of what I give or just marking a bunch of people off my list, making them a card, and apologizing.

Today, I got in a mini crash. Nothing major happened other than a giant chunk of my car got knocked off when I hit a curb (that's what I get for driving a car that is 2inches off the ground). Apparently it's called a skirt or something...that's what my guy friends called it anyway.
Well, anyway, now the majority of my money is going to fix that. I'm estimating it costing over $100 or so. In which case, I'll then go into super frugal mode and start thinking about how $100 is approximately 5 tanks of gas with the current gas prices
and freak out and...that's where the lack of present-giving comes in.

It's not even the money that is seriously getting me down right now. It's that my dad doesn't know yet. My philosophy is "okay. I know I messed up BIG time! Let's just fix it, pay for it, be extra careful next time, and move on"
In my world, that's how things would be done.
However, in the real world (ohhh how I hate you, reality), I am thought of to not be able to "learn" anything unless my stupid actions have consequences of some sort.
Sooo when dad does find out, I'm expecting being grounded, having my car taken away, and being phoneless for a few days.
Along with a lot of yelling and accusations that I was doing something stupid and goofing off and just all in all not taking my driving seriously.


I hate money.
I hate being yelled at for things I ALREADY know I did wrong and can learn from on my own.

Have I mentioned I have a tiny bit over a year left here?
Time to kick Ichigo into high gear! Don't want to end up a hobo on the streets. I plan on getting a Spring Fashion Show together come March (or April).
Showing off my designs with kickbutt music, models, and lights :D! Pretty low budget stuff, I'm sure.
But it'll get me motivated none the less!
[[this was a tiny off-subject pick me up]]

I keep allowing myself to get back into a good mood
only for it to be crushed again with the thoughts that I just expressed. Maybe now that they are here they'll stay out of my head.
One can only hope.

December 7, 2009 - My first accident!
A date that should most definitely be forgotten, please. Add the rest of this week to the slate of forgetting. I'm pretty sure it's going to suck.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

2 random factoids.

I am 99% sure I have a slight case of separation anxiety.
and I become attached to every single person I meet...even if it's just from a two second conversation.

that's a fact! that's a factoid about me :]!

oh and I really like Mitchell Davis but hey, who doesn't?

Farrah and I still need to make a reenactment of this :]]

Yep, that's all!
bye :]