Can we get bartering back up in hur, please?!

ohhh how I hate money.
Reason One: I can never do anything fun without the spending of money is some fashion.
And if there is a way, well, I don't know it. Other than sitting at each others' houses.

Reason Two: I always want to buy things for people! or lend them money. Because, hey, I like people to have cute stuff and I already have or can make things that I want ^-^

Christmas is coming up FAST! Hooray! right?
Well...I would think so. over $200 in my checking account and loads of fun present ideas! Sweaters, quirky necklaces, high-class makeup, thoughtful things for my family (FIRST YEAR I CAN BUY THEM STUFF THAT THEY DON'T KNOW ABOUT :D!), etc.
But now, thanks to my tiny screw up, I'm probably going to have to lessen my present giving and resort to either making a lot of what I give or just marking a bunch of people off my list, making them a card, and apologizing.

Today, I got in a mini crash. Nothing major happened other than a giant chunk of my car got knocked off when I hit a curb (that's what I get for driving a car that is 2inches off the ground). Apparently it's called a skirt or something...that's what my guy friends called it anyway.
Well, anyway, now the majority of my money is going to fix that. I'm estimating it costing over $100 or so. In which case, I'll then go into super frugal mode and start thinking about how $100 is approximately 5 tanks of gas with the current gas prices
and freak out and...that's where the lack of present-giving comes in.

It's not even the money that is seriously getting me down right now. It's that my dad doesn't know yet. My philosophy is "okay. I know I messed up BIG time! Let's just fix it, pay for it, be extra careful next time, and move on"
In my world, that's how things would be done.
However, in the real world (ohhh how I hate you, reality), I am thought of to not be able to "learn" anything unless my stupid actions have consequences of some sort.
Sooo when dad does find out, I'm expecting being grounded, having my car taken away, and being phoneless for a few days.
Along with a lot of yelling and accusations that I was doing something stupid and goofing off and just all in all not taking my driving seriously.

Yep.

I hate money.
I hate being yelled at for things I ALREADY know I did wrong and can learn from on my own.

Have I mentioned I have a tiny bit over a year left here?
Time to kick Ichigo into high gear! Don't want to end up a hobo on the streets. I plan on getting a Spring Fashion Show together come March (or April).
Showing off my designs with kickbutt music, models, and lights :D! Pretty low budget stuff, I'm sure.
But it'll get me motivated none the less!
[[this was a tiny off-subject pick me up]]

I keep allowing myself to get back into a good mood
only for it to be crushed again with the thoughts that I just expressed. Maybe now that they are here they'll stay out of my head.
One can only hope.

December 7, 2009 - My first accident!
A date that should most definitely be forgotten, please. Add the rest of this week to the slate of forgetting. I'm pretty sure it's going to suck.
Pessimist.