Wednesday, December 31, 2008
One of the greatest feelings ever.
Even if you're just sitting at home alone watching the ball
drop in Times Square,
you can still feel the entire coast coming together.
Time zone by time zone
they all come together to celebrate their new beginnings.
For just one night
it doesn't matter if someone is standing too close to you
or the guy behind you is talking a cell phone way too loud.
For a few weeks
everyone will be running about
urgently trying to better themselves.
People will join gyms, make treaties with their neighbors, get a job,
stop a bad habit.
Anything they can do to just feel like they are starting over.
we'll all go back to being annoyed by the same things. All wake up bitter
and ready for the morning commute. We'll wake up
with some hangovers and feeling crappy. We'll roll over and get mad at our alarms.
A few weeks from now
you'll cancel your gym membership and go back to not caring whose feelings you hurt.
you'll go back to your old habits since quitting was inconvenient for you.
You'll be the same person you were last year.
Which makes me sad;which makes me think.
If the entire world can come together at one time, on one day, why must we be so distant
the rest of the year?
Why can't we just truly be amazing people and not have to put it on a list of something to "work on"?
Why do we let silly arguments and other's habits bring us down? Why can't we all live as one?
That's my new year's resolution.
To not have any resolutions for 2010.
I'm going to make it a habit to be a good person, not something I need to work on.
Happy 2k9 everyone! :D
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Of course, it had it's ups and downs.
I wouldn't want to relive it, that's for sure.
I brought in 2008 in the most amazing way.
I was on the ship coming home from Hawaii. Evan, Jase, and I had a dance party
in The Loft till 3 in the morning and then sat in the hallway talking for a long time.
They were some of the chillest people I've ever met in my life
and I still miss them and I still hate the thought that I'll never seen either of them again.
I made color guard!
It's been nice to finally be apart of something that I'm actually kinda good at!
I also met Timmy through color guard...kinda.
I saw him at band practice one day and realized how cute he was ^-^
so from there, I was determined to get to know him XD
Annnnd we've been dating for 3 months now!
I'm good :]
My grandma was hospitalized.
I cried every night for about a week until she finally got to go home.
Timmy was the only person I exactly talked to about how much that hurt and scared
me. And he didn't mind when I cried for hours on the phone and didn't feel like talking.
She's okay now though :]
The summer sucked.
Remember that HUGE list of stuff I wanted to do?
Never did ANY of it!!!!!
Instead, I lost the friend that I made that list with.
We got in a huge fight and have yet to talk. Well...have yet to had
a full on conversation that wasn't highly awkward for me.
I missed Halloween thanks to having a game that night.
I was looking forward to dressing up like a boy and spending the night with my friends.
oh and I got my first kiss this year :DD
There wasn't any good NEW music that came out.
I didn't have a favorite band this year (cept for imadethismistake but they've been around).
Everything sound the same
so I resorted to listening to Nsync and Johny Cash and other weird melodies of strange songs.
I opened Starship with Farrah :D
I got my permit
and a mini van.
I LOVE my van <333
I lost a lot of friends
and I gained a lot of acquaintances.
I've felt lost, confused, alone, and completely ready to give up.
I lost site of why I do the things I do and my morals have been put into
question far to many times.
2008 just wasn't my cup of tea.
I'm looking forward to the end.
I won't miss it a bit.
Monday, December 15, 2008
I love change just as much as the next person.
If everything were to be the same all the time, naturally, I'd be bored out of my mind.
What most (including myself) don't take into consideration
is there are such things as bad changes.
The type of changes you go through when you're growing up.
The type of changes all of go through and no one can stop.
The changes when kids realized their dreams are completely different from
that of their best friends and they begin to drift apart.
The changes that cause people to feel distant and completely alone.
We all have them. No one can say that haven't ever felt alone
and left out. Awkward and afraid.
It's natural. It's gotta be...
Way more than just a change in classes or how your bedroom is arranged.
A lot deeper than just how the weather outside is or if you are having a bad day.
At some point in your life, changes are involuntary.
One thing you do have control over though, is realizing your changes.
Admitting that you are indeed changing and make them fit your life.
If you still want to be close to the people you were once close with, sit down with
yourself and figure out how to make it work.
Blaming change for losing friends isn't always going to work.
Maybe it's that you have a new boyfriend who is consuming most of your time.
Or maybe you're taking a ridiculously difficult class that keeps you from laid
back friend time.
It might be family troubles or that you just have no idea where you're headed in life.
Get your priorities straight.
Make a list and make sure you stay true to your goals.
Whatever it may be that you're experiencing, the big picture really may not
be that bad. You have the power to become who you want to become.
Don't deny change but don't let it overpower you.