Sunday, May 31, 2009

Step 1: World Domination

Antisocial phase is OVER!
Now I'm bouncing off the walls
and back to being excited about everything.

I'm going to visit my G-Ma tomorrow

about my world domination...
Starship is going amazingly well!
I've been designing like crazy
and the new stuff is going to make your jaw drop!

(I'm too lazy to get an actual photoshoot together right now..
so I think I'll just take some crappy pictures soon and let those
suffice for now ^-^)

It's going to be all
Farrah and Bri

Gamegirl & Juicebox!

and the fashion industry will be like...
"Paul Griffiths who?"


all the lads will wanna be our friend
and we'll be like "naw, yo."

I don't know.
I'm in such a good mood
and I'm so happy with my latest creations :D!

I'll let chyoo go now

Friday, May 29, 2009

Naw that's okay...I'll be under my rock

I'm being antisocial these days.
I don't really mind. I mean, summer vacation...
I'm at home all day by myself, now is a good time to decide to
want some time to myself.

I did get a volunteer job
with Carley at an animal shelter
the other day.
But Carley I don't mind being around; and animals
don't really count as forcing me to be social.

I just want to sit around
with Farrah and Steph.
Which is what I spent my day doing yesterday; well, with Farrah.

I don't know...I've found that I don't care about
everyone's crappy days.
I don't want to give advice to people as to why a boy doesn't like them
or help raise their self security.
There's a select few, of course, who I don't mind helping.
I just...ugh. I don't even know.

I think I'm just going to work my butt off on Starship
and help out at the animal shelter
and drive to Farrah's house on a weekly basis.
Everything else, will get better once I'm over this antisocial phase I've put myself in.

I'm not complaining.
I'm happy! Don't get me wrong ^-^!
I guess I just need some selfish time
and focus on myself.

see? I can't even think straight anymore

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

You change your mind more than an alcoholic drinks

Yes yes, I knew that already.
And I'm pretty sure everyone knew that.

I forgive too easily.
I get mad too easily.
I'm sure it's a natural teenage thing,
most just don't like to admit it and then just go into
that stupid teenage depression
and are perfectly content there.
but that's very besides the point

"so hey Bri, what's this blog about?!"
Well boys and girls, I'll tell you!
Why it's about my ex boyfriend!
Not Don -- the one before him.
I darest not speak his name for the sudden *gasp* taken
by the world will leave a shortage of oxygen and we shall all perish.
what in the heck am I talking about?
but it's fun :]

this morning I spent 2 hours texting "that one boy"
it was really strange, but really nice none the less.
Everyone knows we've had more ups and downs than Jack and Jill
and we've come close to slitting each other's throats
because we absolutely couldn't stand each other.
And I'm not suddenly going to pretend to be oblivious
to all the horrible things we spit back at each other.
No no no.
But hey, like I said, I forgive. I forgive everyone
if their apology is sincere.

Possibly a bad trait to have
but it is a trait I have and I'm cool with that.

"that boy" and I are cool now.
We suck at being a couple so, of course, we're never going back to that.
But he's my friend and I'm his friend.
That's the way things are staying. All those feelings of "love" and jealousy
have subsided and we can now just talk to each other with clear minds.

I haven't told anyone this directly
nor do I plan to.
I know you don't agree with me
and are probably like "'re dumb" (in the minorest of cases).
But I can't please you guys.
Having Timmy as my friend makes me happy.
We'll never be as close as we were before.
I just need to have him there. He was a super importance to me
for nearly 9 months and I can't let that go.

That is all.
I'm sorry if you don't agree with me but this is something I'm doing for myself.
Don't think I've forgotten everything that has gone down between him and me.
He's my friend, he makes me happy, he gets my stupid rambling, and he's back in my life and it's staying that way.

I don't forget, just forgive.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

wow..didn't it would come THAT fast

I mean, when I said I was prepared for you to let me down,
I never thought that would come within the same week.

I'm too busy for a dramatic boy anyway.
I need to focus on bettering myself
and my career...not on some boy
who is obviously just out to screw with my head.

No one gets the better of me.
especially not you.
As with everyone, however, I know there is good somewhere inside of you.
And I hope some day someone can get you to admit that.

I'm okay.
No, I'm not some "strong girl" who can face anything.
I'm just tired of people letting me down.
And worse of all, I'm tired that I now expect it from people.

Connor Oberst is a lovely person.

I basically just wanted to say...
I'm okay.
I'm over it, I'm over you.
I'm not one of those ragdoll girls you're used to.

Self self-esteem boost

The Mighty Boosh is coming on soon ^-^

you know what makes me happy?

well, nearly everything.
personified happy things make me happier than other things :]

especially sunflowers!
My mommy bought me two fake ones yesterday
to put into a cute pot I made :]!
Now they are in my windowsill

The weather sucks far too bad :[
is actually making my mood pretty dang bad.
And I've been unbearably irritable lately.

Oh well,
summer vacation and a lot of free time
will cheer me up.
That and those sunflowers I know have :]

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

I've said it before

I'll say it again.

I'm well aware you're bad news for me.
I know your reputation and what you're all about;
the person you try so hard to be and the person you actually are.
Trust me, I get it.
The thing is, I love that you're not good for me.
I like that you challenge me and absolutely make me want to
punch you sometimes.
I love that about you.
Even if I shouldn't.

I know what I've gotten myself into.

I'm happy!
And off to bed

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Random funny thing I just realized

After I posted that last really long post,
I went to read old blogs.

Even like a year ago, I was complaining about my losing my
1) I'm not even sure what that means
2) I obviously haven't lost it yet

Oh && it makes me feel better reading all this dumb crap that bothered me so badly before that I obviously got over eventually :]

Of course, of course I haven't posted anything in like 10 years.
kay--not really THAT long, but a lot has happened since my last post that mostly everyone, outside of blog world knows about.

My life of the past 5 months of so: (in a nutshell)
-Broke up with Don, of course
-Re-dated Timmy...because I have no judgment skills
-Was incredibly unhappy for about a month
-Broke up with Timmy
-Was incredibly happy for about a month
-Started worrying about everything little thing ever, lost all sense of inspiration, and am just generally back to the bottom of the mood spectra.

What are my most recent worries?
Well, they kinda include (OH HEY! another list)
-not being able to come up with any new amazing ideas for Starship creations
-feeling left out among friends...feeling unneeded
-not being as "inspirational" as I once thought myself to be. That may be completely selfish of me to say, but back in the day, I actually felt like I made a difference on people and actually affected people. (or is it effected??)
I guess that part kind of goes back to feeling unneeded.
-I fear that when I can drive, WHICH WILL BE A WEEK FROM NOW!!, I'll become one of those kids who lose closeness with their family. I'm sure when the time comes I'll find a way to balance friends & family & my so-called-job & school (wait, I won't have that soon...not for 2 months anyway) & chores & everything else together.
I'm sure it will all come as naturally as learning to ride a bike.
I'm incredibly nervous for it now, but once I get it all straightened away, the feeling of freedom will be awesome!
I freak myself over the tiny things...I know this. Yet, I still let them get to me.

I don't want to become one of those kids who is in a constant up and down of life.
I want to go back to being BRI-like (haha)
I'm going to spend a lot of time with the person who knows me best, Farrah. She always knows what to do!
I also came to the realization I was happier when I blogged constantly and could just spill my mind into this page [that I'm very aware
no one ever reads] until I explain everything to myself.

Imma go back to blogging about everything :]

I swear it!
And, I will be better once and for all.

"What we think, we become"