Saturday, July 10, 2010

I'm in love with love. Simple as that.

It's been quite awhile since things have changed so much & so quickly.
I don't think it was that long ago when I blogged that yet again, I felt things changing.
Usually when this happens, I'm stuck where things decide to settle for, at the very least, a few months.
This time, however, I got a week.
When things finally began settling in from the last major changing period, it all got uprooted again and my mind is on the move for a new place to settle.

I wonder if anyone else out there understands that feeling.
I just assume that everyone does.

My thoughts just flip & flop back and forth from [my] boy, to Gregory, to Starship, and to wishing my mind would stop its silly flipping and flopping.

It's strange really how close I can be to someone so far away.
Such as Gregory. Who lives in California - six hours from San Fransisco.
Gregory is a boy who I instantly became friends with.
We are both members to this "secret" online group called Infinity.
Upon being accepted into Inifinity, the other members instantly encourage you to post a small "about you" up on the public wall so everyone can greet you and etc.
Well, apparently my "about me" struck Gregory's attention because we instantly started speaking and excitedly saying how much we'd get along.
For months now, he's been one of my closest friends and my "go-to guy"
I rarely ever have to explain how I'm feeling over a situation, he just seems to instantly know.
He's a really awesome person to have around.

He gives me hope that they are still genuine good and loving people in the world.
I so rarely come across one, I question my optimism often.

I'm having a tough time with everything right now to say the least.
I'm trying to be the best person I can be.
In the process though, hurting not only myself but also being reckless with those around me.

I'm still hoping fate will take it's course soon and lead me to something good.
I don't know the reasoning for leading me down this dark trail but, I guess I'll make the best out of it and try to learn something along the way.

I wish for /once/ I was a someone's number one.
I have so many cheesy love lines and random laughing fits stored up, just waiting to be used on someone. I've built love up too much I think and now, I'm just waiting for someone who has done the same.
Farrah and I talked about it last night and the fact that I've never had a good boyfriend. And yet, she got love right on her first shot.

My heart is on my sleeve
and I'm slowly learning, that's not a good place to store it.

I wish I could tattoo it to the palm of my hand so I never forget it.
"Should one find a good companion to walk with
and who is steadfast andupright, one should walk with him with joy
so as to overcome all dangers.If no such companion is found;
it is better to travel alone like a king ...who
has left his kingdom, or an elephant which has left its companions"

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