I'm starting over.

I have realized that I let myself go.
I got that bulletproof mindset and it's most definitely starting to tear me apart.
So here's to starting over and becoming a better person.
Yes, I "start over" quite a bit but I like to start with a clean slate sometimes and become a better person.

I am going to make sure I get all my chores around the house done and not stay up so late at night. My parents do enough for me...I need to start doing my part to help out as well.
I am going to get in the habit of brushing my teeth, showering, and washing my face every night. Yeahhh I'm quitting my never showering habit. Whoo Hoo! This shouldn't be something I have to work on...but I'm gross and I forget sometimes. Hahhha!
I am going to STUDY when I say I'm going to study. I refuse to let phone conversations run on through my studying time. I am shooting for straight A's come report card. Progress report is going to SUCK and I'm ashamed of that.
I need to learn how to balance out boyfriend, friends, family, guard, school, and my clothing line.
Priorities:
1. Family
2. School
3. Guard
4. Friends
5. Boyfriend
6. Clothing line
I wish I had more time for clothing line but the people in my life are more important than my hobby.

I'm going to be asleep by midnight every school night.
and I'm going to keep my room clean.
I'm not to needlessly argue or complain. I'm going to control things bothering me and focus on more important things than silly teenage drama.
I QUIT MYSPACE! Well, I cut myself down to only an hour on myspace a night.

Yeahh I think that is all I have to work on.
I'm going to start on my list :D

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

I never thought that line could ever actually apply to something; at the moment, it most certainly fits.

I finally met this amazing guy. I know, I know, I ALWAYS talk about finding "the most amazing guy ever" buuut I have to find a flaw in this one. Just looking at him gives me butterflies. He's amazing. He's cute, goes to my school, not into drugs or sex, is funny, cute acting as well, and he can sing well.
He makes me incredibly happy!!!
The best of times.

My grandmother got admitted to the hospital yesterday afternoon due to panic attacks. The hospital kept her overnight and said she could come home today. Apparently, she has some sort of eternal bleeding and has to stay till at LEAST Monday to get tests and stuff done. She's really weak and her blood isn't holding iron very well. I went to see her today; she doesn't look that bad but I'm still incredibly worried. People with plans cannot die. We're going to Pigeon Forge in October and to a Scottish concert in late September and in 7 months we are planning to go to Toronto for a few weeks. Grams has too much going on to be sick. She HAS to get better, I just know it.
The worst of times.

I want to be happy to the fullest extent of happy, but I cannot. I want Grams to be okay and things to go back to normal

A list.

Of things I, personally, want to better myself in.

1. I want to do better in school. I'm shooting for all A's! Even in math :D
2. I want to be a better friend.
3. I needa start paying more attention to my appearance. -CHECKAROO!
4. I want to keep my room cleaner - CHECK
5. I want to learn how to cut/style/dye my own hair
6. I want to save up my money
7. I needa do better around the house
8. I HAVE TO STOP BEING SO FORGIVING!!!!!
9. I need to learn say no sometimes
10. I want to become a role model to someone
11. I want to be something worth looking up to
12. I want to get out of the habit of cutting my hair...which totally cancels out number 5
13. I need to stop staying up so late on school nights
14. I want to broaden my interests
15. I want to meet new people
16. I need to stop taking things for granted and appreciate everything
17. I want to remain with my 15 year old innocence
18. I want to be a better girlfriend - CHECK!
19. I want to learn to speak French
20. I needa get over my fear of crickets.
21. I need to get in the habit of showering everyday -Nawww showering will always be a waste of time...forget it.

I'll add to this as it comes to me.

Reality Check.

I'm past due for one of these.
It just hit me Friday that I let my ego get the best of me. When you're even annoying yourself, you know there is a problem.

I guess I've just gotten so caught up in my clothing line and such. I'm overwhelmed by the fact that people really love my designs and that I finally learned how to cut my own hair. I'm honestly not one of those egoistical people, nor do I want to start being one.

Sophomore year so far is not going as well as I would like it to.
I'm enrolled in pottery, mostly by accident but I decided just to stick with it. It's gonna be a mega hard class and no one in that class exactly likes me...or so I'm getting that feeling.
I really miss have an awesome English class. Last year, Krieger's class was kind of my security blanket and now I only have an incredibly difficult Literature class to look forward to. [or I've been told it's very hard]

Also, I lost a, who I thought to be, very close friend of mine. The worst part is, I'm not even sure if she knows it. We spent all of freshman getting closer and over the summer she basically said we're (being Blairsville kids) not good enough to be friends with her. Whatever. Totally not like that hurts or anything *sarcasm used*

Deana is off living her dreams and I can't help but envy that. I miss her but she promises to come home a lot and that's good enough for me =].

I've heard of sophomore slump, but I didn't know it was going to begin the very first week of school.

I also miss having a boyfriend a tiny bit ^-^

Kay. I think I've humbled myself down now...

I'm so sick of missing people!
I want everyone I miss right now to come together in one big Bri's Friends Reunion.
I also wanna meet new people...so I can miss them too.

My life is awesome right now by the way. I'm posting a blog like this because I was in severe need of a reality check.

I'm not anywhere near being a designer. I'm still just struggling with everything and so far, with pure luck, I've had a lot of happy accidents [as Mrs. Marsh would say].
I still have a long way to go to even reach the starting point I need to be at.

I need to stop being lazy and kick it into gear. This year isn't going to be easy...I can already tell.

See ya.

Summer is good for writing blogs.

This is a blog of my life updates. Nothing too interesting XD

Yesterday, I finished The Count of Monte Cristo for Mrs. Bachelor's class. Wow. That book was seriously amazing! A few times I was confused beyond belief (I'll admit that) but the ending paid off for all that. I really enjoyed that book :D

With that out of the way, I have time to focus on my
indie clothing line I'm attempting to get started.

I've grown a lot this summer. Not height wise, of course; but most definitely mentally. I've had a lot of time to sit back and look into new ideas and lifestyles that most of us never get that chance to learn about.
I've taken on Buddhism. It's a lot to learn about and I've come no where learning everything in the 2 months I've been studying it. I'm pretty sure you can consider me Buddhist now though. It's the only religion I've agreed full terms with.

I've been studying the world of decora (aka Harajuku). For those of you not familiar with what that is, it's a fashion trend that is common in Tokyo. Boys and girls in their teens basically dress up...wait. It looks like this.
Yep yep. I've known about it for about a year buut I find it rather cool.

I doubt anyone is going to bother reading this.
and I'm tired of typing and while looking for that Harajuku picture I completely lost my train of thought.

I only have one more week left of summer. Then I have guard camp till school starts.
9am-9pm for two straight weeks.
Basic guard training 20-24 9am-4pm
ugh.
I'm totally prepared :]

sci-fi freak, hey!

so I've put thought into it and I've expressed my thoughts to several different people at random times but I felt like writing a new blog and my alien reasonings
seemed like the perfect thing to write about.

You know how scientists are only exploring planets that have similar habitats of Earth for living creatures?
Why?
I mean, if these "creatures" needed Earth-like living situations, they would live on Earth in the first place.
How do we know that these "creatures" don't live off of dirt or thrive in the scorching heat of the sun?
We're only exploring planets similar to the Earth because we're highly naive.
Americans are the worst.
We go to GREAT measures to try and make the rest of the world exactly like us.
Hey, I have no problem with that. If other nations are willing to live like us, so be it. But why can't we just understand that other people (or "creatures") are unique from us?

I can't go into grand details as to what I'm trying to say because I've never studied the environments of other planets but I think I made my point.

Scientists, I realize you went to college and got a million different degrees stating that you are indeed brilliant, but think outside the box a bit.
Maybe you ruined all your chances of finding aliens by making Pluto a non-planet. You've upset the aliens and they don't wanna talk to us anymore. Thanks

Okay.
You may now comment and tell me interesting things you know about space and aliens and what not.

Space interests me. But also scares the heck outta me at the same time.
I'll save that for another blog.

The worst could possibly be for the best

Leave it to family from out of town that you haven't seen in 5 years
to bring out the weirdest qualities of people.

I won't tell you how it went down cause I was asked not to.
But my oldest sister from Florida went home today.
However, not before she made a huge scene and made me start thinking how much I really do owe a thank you to my parents.
Sure they argue, cuss, scream, and sometimes tick me off.
But hey, what family DOESN'T have their downsides?!

My parents have never been people to put me in a bubble and hide me from the realities of people.
They've never put me in a bubble and told me "this is what you have to be".
They've given me the whole world before me and have made it up to me (for the most part) to make what I want with it.
I've been taught that drugs will ruin my shot at making this world my own and it's just ridiculous to rush into relationships with guys.

My family trusts and cares about me and I would never take advantage of that. They give me just enough freedom to where I can look and think how I please as well as know what's right from wrong. I make awesome grades, am not into anything harmful to me, and I respect my parents to the max. Sure, some elders may look down upon the fact that I want to grow up and possibly become a tattoo artist. I want to get facial piercings and dye my hair 3 different neon colors. I want to go spend a summer in Tokyo just to soak in their amazing lifestyle and I want to move to Toronto, Canada and have a hairless cat and a pug.
And you know what?
My parents have never been ones to tell me my craziest dreams are stupid.
In my mind, thanks to the support they give me, anything is still completely possible.

And it sucks that my sister cannot see that.
It sucks that she didn't even make it 24 hours here in Georgia with her family.
But hey, in the long run...the worst is very muchly for the best.