Monday, February 1, 2010


meditation is something I really need to get the hang of.
My mind is cluttered with useless tension towards everyone and everything
and I'm falling into teenage angst.

I'm sick of myself.
Sick of the negative person I have allowed myself to become.
The person who gets annoyed with everything and wants to know every piece of juicy info that's on the "DL of the school hallways."

This is getting in the way of my art
and me feeling truly accepting of myself.

Half the time, I want myself to shut up because I can't stand the sound of my own voice.
I flinch with embarrassment when I just said something I know was completely stupid.

road to renewal - take 386 - step 1
...I've been down this road so many times before.
I don't understand why once I get myself "fixed", I let myself go back to this way.
Maybe no one else has noticed but I'm bothering myself and I want change.

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